The intersection of COVID-19 and the tremendous loss of life, Black Lives Matter protests and racial inequality, global warming, and the loss of jobs in this country has created a massive tornado effect that has all of us swerving in its vortex. Even for the strongest among us, it is a lot to assimilate.
What do you need most when you are out of sorts? What do you need now? Are you filled with anxiety about your future, your team or your company? Are you distressed about your child or children going back to school? Are you afraid? Or, are you numb to everything that is going on around you?
Breakthrough thinking is not revolutionary, and it is not reserved for geniuses.
Remember back in your school days when certain people in your classes always seemed to know the answers? You may have thought it was because they were smarter than you when in most cases it was only their ability to recall info that was stored in their brains. Or the fact that they studied the information and did so repetitively. They were confident and believed in themselves and had a positive mindset instead of a negative one. Sound crazy? Well, there is a lot of research to support that positive emotions and happiness generate clarity, ability to problem solve and overall generates the best outcomes.
The fact that humans can have up to 60,000 thoughts per day is astounding!
Imagine if you could become skilled at extracting the thoughts that lead you to your happy, calm place instead of the ones that hold you hostage and cause you anxiety. There are some proven ways to help you shift from negative to positive emotions faster, and one way I recommend is to build the self-command muscle, which builds resilience.
Negative self-talk is the inner voice in your mind that repeats a subtle yet demeaning thought – “I’m useless”, “I’ll never think of anything”, “I don’t know the answer to that”, “I can’t do that”, “Why can’t we just stick with what we did in the past?” What you tell yourself over and over is what you begin to believe.
So, what can you do to quiet the negative self-talk?
- The first step is to recognize the presence of negative self-talk when it appears. Recognize the voice of your inner critic which is your Judge. Identify what your inner critic is saying. Make a mental note of the nasty little negative words or phrases you use often use (I can’t; This is too hard; I don’t have time: I don’t know; this is impossible; I always get this wrong”). Pay attention to when you use them. It will allow you to catch that “voice” when it appears.
- The second is to practice and apply some tactics to silence the inner critic.
Silence the chatter by simply stopping the thoughts midstream. Saying out loud to yourself “Stop”, a technique that helps you become more aware of how many times you are curbing these negative thoughts. It also allows your mind to shift to more positive thoughts.
- Boost your confidence with positive or neutral self-talk. Your negative inner critic feeds off your insecurities, so anything you can do to boost your confidence will take away its power.
Shift to answer the question: How can I look at this in another way? Who can I get to help me think through this? What are the things I can control?
I have partnered with hundreds, if not thousands, of people throughout my career and many weren’t aware of their own capabilities. We can all have breakthrough thinking if we begin to shift the ways we approach challenges.
Rather than allowing a limiting thought to keep you from exploring possible options, you can train your brain to settle down, to allow you some space for clarity, curiosity, exploration and innovation.
One of my favorite questions to pose to leaders I coach is “what do you really want?”. That is the starting point of breakthrough thinking, to understand what you are feeling in your heart of hearts and what you envision. The process flows from there, and may include other people, activities, and resources.
Here’s a free assessment for you, to learn about your own saboteurs which are negative emotions. It’s brief and provides a detailed report for you with characteristics, justification lies and the impact on you and others. Click on the link – https://www.positiveintelligence.com/assessments/.
If you would like to discuss your assessment, or need additional resources, book a free 30-minute consultation with me.